I plan to go and do some SERIOUS budget analysis as soon as I get the chance... I'd like to be heading to join my friends who are staying in the Middle East by August.

So I need to figure up:

My current debts

My current weekly income (both jobs combined)

A new weekly budget

And then I need to see how much money I can save up each week for my goal.  After I get that calculated, I need to e-mail my friends in the Middle East, and get some kind of budget going.  Since they are already there, they can tell me more of what the expenses will be like. 

Once I get a better picture of my financial situation, I can make some better life decisions about the job thing... Not just about whether to leave this job or not, but also about what kind of income I'll need in order to make a new job worth quitting the old one for.  (aka, is $40 less a week worth having undisturbed self-esteem? $80? Is working an extra month before getting to the Middle East worth it?)

So, that's the plan for now. 

Tomorrow I'll be posting reason #1 of my new "101 Reasons Why I Don't Bake".  Be sure to tune in! :)

From: Wednesday Mind Hump

This week's theme is, oddly enough, Crank Up The Stereo Day. 

1.  What artist and/or band (or a few) makes you want to crank your stereo so the whole neighborhood can hear?  Supertones, Kurt Carr

2.  What are a few of your favorite songs to crank on your stereo?
Thankful - Mary, Mary
Brave - Nicole Nordeman
Awesome Wonder - Kurt Carr (gotta love the excessive bass!)
Shackles - Mary Mary

3.  What artist or style of music do you NOT want to hear cranked up on a stereo? Classical, Opera... those have GOT to be abominations!

4.  What "stereo" do you use most often: regular stereo, DVD player, clock radio, computer, Ipod, or car stereo?  Computer, Car occasionally

Boss was on the warpath again this morning.  Today I missplaced a report.  I asked him if he had it, in the NICEST, POLITEST, NON-ACCUSATORY way  (cause his ego is REALLY fragile, and every time you ask him a question he says you're accusing him) I could muster.  He looked, said no, and sent me to ask two of the guys.  They didn't have it, no one did... I searched, searched, and finally found it in a folder on my desk.  I told my boss that I found it...

And he decided that the normal "pull-me-in-the-office-and-scream-at-me" tactic wasn't enough, so he launched into a series of PUBLIC humilitations.  As loud as he possibly could, so everyone in the building could hear (literally, it's a small building).  Unfounded, unreasonable, downright rude accusations were hurled my way, with no possibility of defending myself.

I went to the back room, had a good cry, and now I'm back to work. 

And actually calm, which is kinda wierd.  I'm seeing exactly how long I can stay at this job... the money is good, and being out of debt is a priceless thing. :)  Not worth the price of good self-esteem though, so another outburst or two from the boss, and this job will be HISTORY!

This has got to be the worst quality picture of me on earth!  But I love it anyway.  I love the awe and energy in baby Jana's eyes. 

Someone on AW posted about reconnecting with the child inside you... and in many ways that's what I'm attempting.  To reach that innocent little Jana, who still dreams, hopes... who loves without reserve, who chatters happily to anyone who will listen... who tugs on the sleeves of the adult Jana, quietly reminding her of the simple pleasures in life that make living truly worthwhile.  

I am kinda in a quiet, introspective mood today (most likely the product of some nasty dreary weather outside my office window).  So, I decided to open my mind and give you all a glimpse inside.  I'm thinking today that:

I have nothing interesting to blog about.  I work, I sleep, I work, I sleep... woo hoo, how interesting is THAT?! LOL 

I'm proud of myself.  My creation is proudly displayed on my blog.  It started out with me sitting on the floor for hours, with a design in my mind that had the look of Melba's creations, and wording like something from Mrs. D's blog... and I got SO down and discouraged about it! Finally i took all the pieces, threw them in a drawers, and started again.  To make MY creation!  The result is 100% authentic Jana.  It doesn't look like anyone else's, it isn't worded like anyone elses... but it's MINE, and it's ME, and that's OKAY.  Being me isn't a BAD thing.  (I think that's one of my new affirmations.) As Tinker would say, it's "wicked cool"! Especially the glitter.  *cheesy grin*

I'm nervous... tonight I work with my "hillbilly ghetto kids".  Will they like me? Will they hate me?

I am very scared.  Anyone heard of ummm.... desk butt?  (that's not what they call it here... LOL but ya know what I mean!) Anyway, it's what office workers get, makes their butt get big and flat.   Just learned about it today, had to feel and make sure mine was still it's original shape! Hahaha

My scarf I'm knitting has SOOOOO many mistakes.  LOL It's not going to be anyways NEAR the shape it should be.  That's okay though, it's MY wierd-shaped scarf, and I'll hide it in my bottom dresser drawer with ummm... pride? 

Well, it is official.  I've been published. 

When I read the comment from Melba saying that she'd posted my first creation for MMM on the website, I panicked.

My stomach fliped!

My eyes were round as saucers!

Everything within me GASPED dramatically!

My inner ADHD artist child kicked me in the shins, screaming "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!"

I promptly burst into tears.

I threw myself on my bed... laid there a minute... and then realized "hey, I debued! I DID IT!!!!!!!"

I now am feeling warm and fuzzy inside. *contented sigh* 

When the AW author talked about mood swings and other emotional unbalances being a part of the "Journey", she was NOT kidding!  Goodness, I haven't had this many mood swings in a week since I was in high school!

Right now you can find my debut project on the NEW Mixed Media Memoirs website! Mine is the one that ummm... says Jana on it!  Hahaha    Tomorrow when I get to work, I'll get the photo on photobucket where you all can see it on here. 

Hey, do you all remember the poem Anne & Diana acted out in Anne of Green Gables?  The Lady of Shalott?  I read the poem once in high school, just to see what it was about, and today as I was listening to the celtic radio station (got bored after the third or fourth time I heard "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" on the Motown one hahaha) I heard it in SONG form!!!!  It was recorded by Loreena McKennitt... and I am DEFINATELY going to download it when I get home! 

Yesterday after work, I'd planned on going shopping for some kiddie artistic stuff, then going home and "playing" while I watched Macbeth.  By the time I got done with my shopping though, I was grumpy, tired, my head ached, my forehead was itchy, and I was just generally not in the mood to play.  LOL  So, I jumped in the shower, and then laid on the couch with my pillow, blankie, knitting needles, and Lord of the Rings: Return of the King in the DVD player!  Used a new moisturizing lotion, trimmed my toenails, messed with my cuticles, and then just watched & knitted away!

It was a WONDERFUL AD! I was really paying attention to the little details of the movie that made it come totally alive.  Two that stand out for me: The lighting in all of the scenes with the elves was AMAZING! The sound that Gandalf's staff made as he walked on the stone floors of ummm... somewhere LOL   It just made such a realistic sound.  

Went to bed afterwords, a MUCH more relaxed person.

At work today, which by the way this office is NOT 20 minutes away as promised, it was more like 30.  *sigh*  And we share a wall with Subway, so I've been smelling them all day... not really a bad thing hahaha!

So anyway, I'm sitting here at my desk, (so much for my no-blogging-today resolution eh?) listening to a Motown hit station... thinking maybe I was born in the wrong decade?  I think I should have been born about 1940... I would have been 20 when the sixties started.  Times of great social change... civil rights movement, bra burning, protests... I think i could DEFINATELY have dealt with that!  And plus, they had cute little dresses and come ADORABLE little hairdos!!!! *quietly singing along to a Supremes song*

Wore my hat all day yesterday, but it bugged me so I kept messing with it.  By the time I got home, I had some serious rash goin on! I slathered it good with moisturizer last night, so it's some better, but still itching like crazy today! I need to grab some moisturizer before church tonight.  I think I'll stick to wearing hats to church, and just for my 4 hour evening shifts at job #2 until I get used to them. 

Funny quote from a book Tinker has that gives suggestions for artist's dates: "Make a portrait gallery of your friends." The next day's entry was to "Draw on whiskers." Sounds awesome huh???? Though, I think I'd rather try to add mustaches!  *quietly downloading Mrs. D & Melba's pics from their websites* 

*smiling innocently and giggling quietly to self*

Reading "East of Eden" by John Steinbeck.  Any of you read it??  I'm a little less than halfway though it, and I am loving it.  In the beginning I noticed him seeming really anti-Indian and anti-women, but he just added a great Chinese character to the mix that makes him seem less racist.  I love the way he develops his characters.  As a "people-watcher" I am just amazed at how much time he takes to describe & develop the personalities of his characters.  He makes them seems as real as anyone you'd meet on the street!  He even includes little personality quirks!!!