Legacy - My SPT & MMM Submission for the Week
Today as I did my morning pages, I thought about my dad. For a man who i have so little contact with, he's had such an impact on my life. I was definately a daddy's girl as a little little girl. So much of who I am is because of his influence on me. He taught me about nature, about the joy of being in the woods, about hunting for mushrooms and ginsing and sassafras roots, about gardening not only to feed yourself but also to feeds those not able to grow their own food. He taught me about the pleasures of giving to others.
He also is the source of the worst things in me. The tendancy to hurt those I love most, my fear of intimacy in even friendships, my skepticism concerning love, my insecurities and fears that once devistated my life, my once uncontrolable bursts of anger, my former belief that the sum total of my self-worth is based solely on the approval of others.
I miss my dad. 2 hours away, and it seems like we're seperated by an ocean. But as I age, we try to build bridges, and get a little closer to each other. Of all the prayers I pray, the one God hears most often is prayers for my dad, for restoration in that relationship.
It's hard to be a daddy's girl without your daddy.
Posted at 10:28 pm by
JanaBanana
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Melba
February 1, 2006 10:33 AM PST
Once I got here to check that the link from MMM worked I just had to read all your past posts. I want to comment about your job. You should be a better employee. Probably not what you expected me to say, right? You should take pride in what you do...be it a street cleaner, a doctor, or...whatver it is your job title is. Be the best empoloyee you can be, be proud of yourself. Then when you do go look for another job...one that feels "right" to you, you can leave the other job with your head held high and maybe a good reference (because you will probably list that job on your resume anyway) I know it is difficult to be mindfull in a job that sucks the life out of you and where you don't feel appreciated (i have been there...) But once you respect yourself enough to be the best in any situation; doors to your soul and other places will open for you. Believe it! |
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mrs. diamond
February 1, 2006 07:13 AM PST
ouch. this is a sensitive issue with me. but i'm learning, we can't change who they are, we can only change us. I'm learning too, that they weren't evil, they just had their issues, like all of us, and dealt with them in the only ways they knew..... We have far more resources than they ever had. Break the cycles. We have the power of the blood of Jesus to break those cycles. Just keep claiming it. |
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