Just realized that you all needed to know that I'm wearing a hat today!! It's my beige one, and although it's itching my forehead to the point that I wanna scream, I'm wearing it anyway, because it looks cute! LOL 

Found this quote, posted by Eliza as a comment on Marilyn's blog.  Thought everyone (AW or otherwise) would enjoy it.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us. It is in everyone. And as we let our light shine, we give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

- Marianne Williamson

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.  I think about this, as I think about "M", the 14 year old I was a mentor to.  Did my fear teach her to fear?  Did my example teach her to hide from who she really was?

As I start a new volunteer experience on Tuesday (working with hillbilly gheto kids! Hahaha how cool is that?)   Here's a quote from the first time I saw the kids:

"Whew... what an adventure.  No games or activities really planned cause we expected older ones.  Kids crying, kids hitting,... half with dirt all on their faces and body odor...

It absolutely broke my heart, and I think I'm addicted.   Something so special about a little boy with a dirty little face looking up at you with those heart-breaking eyes.  *sigh*"

As I work with THESE kids, I pray that I won't let my fears keep me in bondage, or I will only pass on or reinforce those same fears in their lives.  I pray that I can be the one who makes life a safe place for them,  tells them that life really is worth living, and that it IS safe for them to be themselves.  I pray that God will give me the strengh to reach out beyond my own fears of intimacy, to reach out to these hurting kids and give them love, encouragement, and support that might make a difference in their lives.  Who knows, maybe 20 years down the road, some young man or woman will be sitting at their computer, blogging about the Artists Way, and put me on their list of champions!

*feeling all weepy*

I'm glad I blogged about this, I'd forgotten in the 2 months since i'd last seen these kids why I'd wanted to get involved... now I remember.  :)  The smiles... the little boy who cries so easily but tries to hold it in and be "manly"... the little girl who's mama is in jail, who so badly needs a woman to show her how to do her hair, how to match her clothes, and other "womanly" things. 

*really weepy now*

So as I try this, please guys keep me in your prayers/thoughts/warm-fuzzy-whatever-you-believe-ins, that I won't be a failure in this. Things like this are what I was made for, why I'm here on this earth.  I get so easily distracted though sometimes, and forget what really matters.  But this is a new start.  The past doesn't HAVE to be repeated!!!! :)