just because he lives.

That is my favorite hymn... it the first song I heard after God filled me with his spirit.  And it was true... from that moment on, my life has been changed.  Before I had lived in a state of manic depression... my life was series of ups, downs, violent mood swings, and thoughts of suicide.  But that day, my life was CHANGED.  Was it an immediate total transformation? Yes, no... I was changed... but my life had not, my friendships had not, my thinking had not.  Now as I draw closer to God I see how much I need to still change.  My life is like a seed... it sprouted that day, but I have to get daily food and water by praying and reading my Bible.  I need to be watched over and protected by the master gardener.  Sometimes I even need to be pruned, corrected when I start to grow in places I shouldn't.  But his hands are gentle even then... correcting me in love... drawing me to him, lighting and warming me with his presence. 

Yes, he has truly made my life worth living.  My prayer for this blog is that through it you will see the "real" Jana... who I am, my loves and my hates, my experiences day by day.... but most of all that you will see God in me.  That you'll see his work in my life.  That you'll see his strength showing even in my weekeness. No, it may not always be spiritual, in fact most of the time it probably won't be.  My life with God is like an undercurrent in a river... You can't see it from the surface, but it's there... cleansing that river, moving the water and keeping it from becoming stagnant and unclean.